Dated April 22, 2013 Monday 9:43 am
I asked for a dozen red roses with a card signed "Jesus" for Valentine's Day this year. I was smiling to myself about how God would answer that. I thought this is going to be interesting.
Then on Feb. 13, 2013 my special needs daughter decided she's not going to school anymore. She wouldn't go through the school gate, after we walked one block from where we parked. I waited. I thought it was just for the day, for a few days. But after one week I knew I had to inform District 75. I decided to inquire about home schooling.
Looking back, it's been a solid 12 months of volunteer work with the senior lady I have been visiting. I started seeing her on the 14th Feb., 2012. This year I thought I would spend my Valentine's again with her, and her caregiver who came in some time in this past year - a cheerful girl coming from the country of Guyana. I bought her a card and dark chocolate on the night of Feb. 13. I was debating whether to buy roses, too. It was a good thing I didn't, because it wasn't meant to be. The next morning my daughter said she didn't want to go to school. This time she followed my instructions the day before, "Next time, if you don't want to go to school, tell me when you wake up in the morning, not when we're already here in front of your school and I have already paid for parking!" So, this time I spent Valentine's at home with my daughter.
I had sometimes thought about what's going on in my daughter's school. Sometimes she didn't want to go to school. In the last week or two she was there there were times when it was a struggle when we arrived at school or her classroom. She didn't want to go in. She has no words to explain. She wouldn't tell me or she just doesn't know how to explain. She used to love school, in a way. She looked forward to working with Ms. A, her favorite "teacher." (Her Speech Therapist.) And sometimes when I go to my senior friend's place I would say to myself, "What the heck, I can't work because of my daughter's condition. I can't work because nobody can care for her if she's feeling poorly and has to stay home. So, meanwhile, we struggle to keep her in school and then I spend my free time with this senior lady. She's a gorgeous person and I love doing this, but I feel there is something amiss here. I should just really be keeping my daughter home, teaching her myself, and spending my time caring for my own." For some time I had been comforting myself with the thought that when she turns fully 18 ( the official school-leaving age for special needs children here) I can take her out of school officially and then we can start home schooling so I can train her to care for herself. For as long as she's in school all we do every day is rush in and out of bed.
When Blizzard Nemo came (Fe. 8, 2013) and left, I was trudging through the piled up snow from the paid parking together with my daughter and we had to wade through snow and freezing water in some places. I thought, "Father God, You know the things we go through just to comply with whatever You bring into our way in this life. I pray for Your grace and I believe You have a purpose for all these. I peacefully put up with this and I pray that You would grant us continued mercy and grace to cope with all these." One time I even had to shovel snow just to get a parking space near my daughter's school. A young guy also looking for parking saw me and suggested shoveling it for me and asked if he could use my shovel to clear space for his car, too. I said, "Sure." But in those times I was really thinking, just sending my kid to school is so tough here. Well, I don't even let my family or most of my friends know that I have opted off from the bus system for my daughter. They will never understand why I did that because that is another story of its own. So, when we finally started home schooling I looked back and realized God did answer my cry for mercy and grace - He delivered us from the grind called school. There were a few more days when it snowed, even as late as a few days before Spring season, and I would say to myself, "Thank God, I don't have to drive through this snow."
When I decided to opt out from the bus system at the beginning of this school year (Sept. 2012) I prayed that God would answer my prayer for a school transfer for my daughter, to one nearer our home. Then maybe she can take the school bus at that school. She's been there before, when she was being initially evaluated for school services she would need; the teachers and the environment in that school were so different. They were more efficient. I also told God that if she can't be transferred then I pray that it wouldn't snow this year, just like last year, or if it would, I pray that somehow I would never have to drive through snowfall. After snow has fallen and the roads have been cleared up, driving is not so bad. It's when the snow is still falling and the roads are still not cleared that it's dangerous to drive, due to low visibility and the slippery road. I actually never knew how dangerous snow is until we came to live here. Then looking back now, the times when there were snowfall, my daughter was home for some other reason/s or it fell on weekends, or in the case of the last few times, she was already being home schooled. The slot in that school I asked for never opened for my daughter but God did answer my prayer for not having to drive through snowfall, ever. He saved me each and every time.
So I guess the dozen red roses means the solid twelve months of volunteer service God enabled me to render. My daughter seemed to have settled down a bit in those twelve months. Prior to that I was just ferreting her from one doctor or government office for a problem, evaluation or whatever. Alas, those days of being "settled" in a school were not to last. And now, I'm fully "grounded" again. Well, all the while I have always wanted to home school my daughter but my husband was never convinced it's good for us. Actually, with all the resources available here in the US, I think this is the best place to home school, although there is no financial support from the government for that. So, twelve red roses? I believe God answered that prayer in His own way and His own terms. I'm sure the blessing of my one solid year of volunteer work will prove to be of much more value than how it looks now.Some day, I'll know.
No comments:
Post a Comment