Joy

Whoa! I really took my time to think through and reflect before I wrote this one. I am just overwhelmed by "joy"! What does the Bible say about “joy”? Actually, the Bible says so much about it, I don't know where to start. Even so, I am not sure whether I am really getting it yet.

Arguably, the most prominent “joy” verse in the Bible would be:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace....” Galatians 5:22

There are nine of those fruits of the Spirit but let’s just focus on these first three - love, joy, peace. Now let’s look at the scope of these three:

Philippians 4:7

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 3:19

and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Although I can’t find a similar passage explicitly stating that joy in the Bible - just like peace and love - is beyond our understanding, it does make sense to say that being a “trio,” these three will synonymously have very similar characteristics, at least that of being beyond our comprehension and wildest imaginations. Come Christmas time, we’ll be wishing one another, “love, joy, peace,” again. These triplets always come together!

Furthermore, if one keeps studying the Bible, one would come to the conclusion that the believer’s joy in God stems very much from God’s peace and love. My gut feel is that these three are really closely intertwined. So, let’s look further and examine these “joy” passages:

James 1:2

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,

2 Corinthians 8:2

In the midst of a very severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity.

1 Peter 1

8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,

9 for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Habakkuk 3

17 Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, 18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.

I think this "joy" thing is not quite logical. How can someone be joyful or have glorious joy under such dire circumstances? If we cannot quite imagine what this “joy” being talked about above, it could be that it is also beyond our comprehension, just like “love” and “peace” in the Bible. But don’t despair, when the Bible says something is quite beyond our knowledge and understanding, it is actually an invitation for us to draw “nearer” or “higher” so we can increase in our knowing. For example, if we look at the context of the “love” verse above, we will find that the Apostle Paul prayed for the believers of his time to start comprehending the greatness of God’s love towards us. In the same way, we must desire and pray for that understanding, too!

Here’s what Paul wrote:

Ephesians 3

17”... And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

In the same way, we must pray for that supernatural revelation of God’s peace and joy, that we may be filled with all the fullness of God! If we have revelations and manifestations of God’s love, peace and joy, beyond measure, just think how much better persons we would become (oozing with love, joy and peace!) and how much more blessings we would become to the people around us! God blessed us so that we would bless others.

Now here’s another clue as to what “joy” is in the Bible.

In 1 John 4:16 it says, “...God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.”

So there, God is love. Love is the innate character of God. It doesn’t say “God is loving.” it says, “God is love.” It’s just like saying, “God is holiness.” Or, “God is goodness.” If we do not have a concept of “holiness,” we should get to know God and we would know what “holiness” is. If we have a warped understanding of what “good” and “goodness” are, we need to get close to God to know “goodness.” Hence, if we are not sure what “love” is, as there are now so many definitions and concepts of “love” proliferating, we need to get to know the God who is love!

Now here’s more. Ephesians 2:14 says,

“For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility,...”

“He himself” in this passage refers to Jesus Christ.

A most recent translation,” The One New Man Bible,” a translation by William J. Morford that reveals the Jewish roots and power of the Bible, states it this way:

Ephesians 2

14 For He is our peace, the One Who has made both things one and Who has loosed the dividing wall of the fence, cause of the enmity to His flesh, 15 by His nullifying the tradition of the commandments by decrees, so that He could create the two, Jewish and non-Jewish, into One New Man establishing peace 16 so He could reconcile both in one body to God through the cross, as God killed their enmity by means of Him, Y’shua.

(“Y’shua” is the original Jewish name that got translated into the English “Jesus.” This translation uses the original Jewish “Y’shua” for the name of Jesus.)

This is an interesting point here, for we know that the peace in the whole wide world, like it or not, depends on the peace or un-peace in Jerusalem. If the Jewish and non-Jewish people in the Middle East could be reconciled and co-exist in peace, the rest of the world will have peace, too. This passage shows that the solution to the Middle East crisis is for the Jewish and non-Jewish to be reconciled through Christ - the sons of Isaac and the sons of Ishmael reconciling in peace - for truly they come from one father - Abraham. Now I know I just made a controversial statement but I am just saying what the passage above is saying, highlighting a point that matters to us most at this time in history. I myself am non-Jewish, I do not live in Israel or Palestine, or the Middle East, but I know that if we can settle this enmity between the Jewish and non-Jewish in the Middle East, we all would be better off. The solution offered by the Bible is staring us in the face - it is through Christ. Picture a Jewish and non-Jewish worshiping Jesus Christ together. Is there enmity there? That’s exactly the point! In fact, in Christ, so many things in life become non-issue. It’s very much like all our questions won’t matter anymore when we get to see God in Heaven, face-to-face. That is just what it is.

Now we know other passages in the Bible talk about Jesus being “the Prince of Peace,” (Isaiah 9:6) and that His priesthood is the priesthood of Melchizedek, King of Salem (“King of Peace”) (Hebrew 7:1,2) and that Jesus’ message of salvation to us is known as the “Gospel of Peace” (Ephesians 6:15), and that God reconciled the believers to Himself through Jesus Christ and has committed to them the message of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18,19); which means we are reconciled with God through Jesus and are able to reconcile with one another, wherever there is enmity, through Jesus Christ. Jesus is our peace! God is our peace! God is peace to the believer!

So, if for the believer, “God is love,” and “God is peace,” will the statement “God is joy,” also be true? Unfortunately, again, the Bible does not directly say so. However, there are indications that it is safe to say so.

Psalm 43:4 says,

“Then will I go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the harp, O God, my God.”

We know from our former definition (in my blog "Joy and Gladness") that “joy” can be a person or thing which is a source of great happiness to another person. So, yes, the Bible does say God is the joy and delight of the believer! In fact, if this is not true for any believer, he or she is exhorted to make God his/her joy, in this following verse:

Psalm 37:4

...make Yahweh your only joy and he will give you what your heart desires. (The Jerusalem Bible; this translation uses “Yahweh” instead of “Lord” in reference to God.)

Also,

1 Chronicles 16:27 

Splendor and majesty are before him; strength and joy in his dwelling place.

Psalm 16:11

Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. (King James Version)

The believer is exhorted to have God as his joy. Fullness of joy is found whenever God is around! So yes, it’s safe to say, “God is love,” “God is peace,” “God is joy,” at least for the believer! I say, God is love, joy and peace, and more! But as we say that, we have to remember that the love, joy and peace that is God is the God-kind of love, joy and peace. “Love” in God’s definition is “agape” - unconditional love, something we talk a lot about but hardly ever practice or experience, right? And the “peace” that is God’s kind of peace is “shalom” and “ere’ne’,” a kind of peace we can’t quite fathom. Well, that’s why the Apostle Paul said, “the peace that passes understanding.” And “joy”? I did a word study on joy and I will write what I have to say on that in other blogs. You see, when you came through the gate of “Pure Joy Land” you probably weren’t sure what to expect. Well, neither was I. Now I am getting a bit overwhelmed. Are you intrigued with God, yet? If He is the God who could possibly be my “joy and delight,” I want to know that God!

Ok, so did that get us to a better understanding of “joy,” yet? Hmmm, now it seems we’re just wading deeper into something that is really beyond our comprehension - the Person of God Himself. It looks like if we can only understand some of the God-kind “joy,” then we also get to understand some of the God-kind peace, God-kind love and God Himself. Are you still with me in this? Are we going to go swim deeper to find out? Or better still, find HIM!

Just to whet our appetite to keep pressing in, I would like to mention just a few more things. Jesus asked His disciples to purposely ask for something in His name so that His Father in Heaven would answer their prayer and it would result to them having complete joy!

John 16:24

Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.

Lately, I watched a video teaching by Bill Johnson and he mentioned that getting answers to prayer is designed by God to be our ongoing source of joy. He also said that “joy” in Heaven is such a priceless commodity that God the Father reserved that as the reward for Jesus in enduring the cross.

Hebrews 12:2

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Joy was the reward of His suffering. It was what God the Father gave Him to honor Him for His obedience - joy is that valuable. You can watch Bill Johnson’s teaching through this link. Don’t be afraid to click on it. The vid is an hour long but he mentioned this within the very first 5 minutes of his teaching. So, don’t hesitate to click on it and take time to listen.

Now here’s a quick jab on “pure joy.” I recently just watched this vid on youtube. I have read books and seen videos of testimonies of people going to Heaven but this guy has such a complete and detailed description of what it’s like in Heaven that I just got so blessed watching it. At the 1:14:00 onwards (just pull the arrow if you don’t want to wait one hour to get there) he mentioned seeing some members of his family who had gone to be with the Lord earlier and he met them there and he said his family only had “pure joy” in Heaven! Well, this is Heaven itself, guys. Of course, it would be “pure joy!” I’m sure everything in Heaven is going well, and there is wonder and awesomeness everywhere there! I think “pure joy” is when we have “pure happiness” plus “joy”. “Pure happiness” is the absence of pain (every form of it - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual) plus, everything going well for you and having a sense of excitement or wonder. Whereas, “joy” is “having that inner peace knowing that you are in the will of God because you are living in obedience to Him.” Of course, in Heaven there is no pain, everything is going well, awesome even, and there is no disobedience of God’s instructions. Thus, "pure joy" is the joy found in Heaven!

So you ask me, how about us here on earth, can we ever have “pure joy”? Do we have to wait till we get to Heaven to have it? Good question. Well, as we saw earlier, joy is found in the presence of God. So where on earth can we find the presence of God? Some Bible teachers / evangelists  talk about “portals” where believers can more easily go through to get to the presence of God in Heaven. For example, in his book, "Aligning with Heaven," David Herzog wrote about Jerusalem and Bethel in Israel being “portals.” I am not going to dwell too much on that as this blog has gone too lengthy now, but the Bible also says the dwelling place of God is in man. We know every believer is the dwelling place of God, the Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

The fellowship of believers also brings in the special presence of God.

Matthew 18:20

For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

I believe we do experience this Heavenly joy on earth once in a while, but it may not be truly pure “joy” because of the presence of our “flesh”, the sinful nature. Also, when His special Presence falls on us in our congregational fellowship, Heavenly joy does fall on us but we do not know how to remain in His Presence when the meeting is over and hence, we are not able to keep that Heavenly joy. Sometimes we do get the Heavenly joy during private worship at home, when we are in deep fellowship with God, but we have problems keeping in His Presence when we go off to do our daily earthly duties. Most often though, the joy is missing and we may not even be aware that it is missing, because we hardly know what it is. We have a lot to learn about joy, having it, and keeping or abiding in God’s Presence and joy in our daily life. But there is hope, so, let us not give up!

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All Scripture references are from the 1984 New International Version, unless otherwise specified. Emphases in bold letters are mine. 

Note: I have started blogging in another website and the above blog is a re-blog of " 'Joy' in the Bible" from my new website. If you liked my blogs so far please feel free to visit my new site. Thank you for dropping by and a blessed day to you! :-)

Peace

Dated Dec 21, 2014 317am Eastern Time

God is love and His covenant with His people He calls His Covenant of Peace.

When we see a rainbow across the horizon it reminds us of Noah and his ark.

“To me this is like the days of Noah, when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth. So now I have sworn not to be angry with you, never to rebuke you again.

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:9,10

In fact, it reminds us of the very presence of God because there is a rainbow in His throne in Heaven. (Revelation 4:3)

In the Old Testament, the Hebrew word for peace is “shalom” but it doesn’t only mean peace as we understand it from the English language. According to Strong’s concordance 7965 it means “completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety, soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord.” It also comes from the root verb “shalom” meaning “to be complete, perfect and full.” In the New Testament, the Greek word for “peace” is “erenaeus” which means “harmony, tranquility, safety, welfare, health.”

In the New Testament, God extends His Covenant of Peace to us through His Gospel of Peace, literally, His “good news of Peace” in Jesus Christ.

When Adam and Eve were driven out of the Garden of Eden because of sin, they were driven out from the presence of God, out from fellowship and relationship with Him. They were estranged from God. They lost that “shalom” which is found only in God. And so they and their descendants became wanderers and vagabonds in the earth, searching for that “shalom” - that peace, completeness, fullness, perfectness, health, safety, tranquility, welfare and harmony which they could never find in the world but only in God. We all are just like Adam and Eve. We are ever seeking and yet not finding, until we come to know the “good news of Peace” in Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is our Peace, our “shalom”, our “erenaeus”.

Hundreds of years before His birth, the prophet Isaiah called Him The Prince of Peace:

“For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.”

Isaiah 9:6

The priest Zechariah, father of John the Baptist, described the way of Jesus as the path of peace. He prophesied that his son John would be the prophet that would prepare the way for Jesus, who would guide us into the path of peace. (Luke 1:79)

At Jesus’ birth the angels announced tidings of great joy, announcing peace to men on earth:

“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.” Luke 2:14

Teaching his disciples, Jesus Himself said He gives them peace that the world cannot give and it’s the peace that will enable them to face troubles here on earth:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Right after His resurrection, Jesus’ greeting to His disciples was peace:

While they were still talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.” They were startled and frightened, thinking they saw a ghost. Luke 24:36,37

On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the door locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord. John 20:19,20

A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” John 20:26

Jesus also told His disciples to teach this good news of peace to other people:

Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” John 20:21

One of the titles of God our Father is “God of peace,” ( Romans 15:33, 16:20, Hebrews 13:20) and also “God of love and peace” (2 Corinthians 13:11).

Indeed, we have peace with God through Jesus Christ:

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, Romans 5:1

We are not only reconciled with God when Jesus put away the enmity between God and men through the atoning sacrifice of His own precious blood, but He also reconciled both Jew and Gentile into one body:

But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.

For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility. Ephesians 2:13,14

Yes, the answer even to racism and discrimination, is Christ - our peace!

Also, when God sent His Son that we may have His peace, not as the world gives, but the peace of God - “shalom” - we must remember it means “completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety, soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord.”

That is why Jesus is also called “Wonderful,” because His peace includes everything we can ever long for!

Two thousand years ago, in the city of David, a savior was born to us - God’s gift - a baby who grew up and preached the good news of peace and fulfilled it, that we may have peace. Indeed, good tidings of great joy to all people! Jew, Gentile, Greek, black, brown, yellow, red or white, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Sikh, Buddhist, Scientologist, agnostic, atheist, Satanist, gay, straight, pro-life, pro-choice, etc. - that Savior was born unto all men and women! A gift is a gift, whether we take and appreciate it or not, it remains a gift. Such is God, the God who is love!

Most Shared Bible Verses

Dated July 12, 2013



The "YouVersion" Bible App just reached 100 Million downloads and they said that the three most-shared verses on Twitter, Facebook, email and text are:

Isaiah 53:5, Hebrews 4:15 and Matthew 7:7. (from Breaking Christian News)

Interestingly these verses talk about the source of our healing, the personality of that source and the way to access that source.

Isaiah 53:5 (The Source of our healing who is Jesus.)

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

This verse is from one of the prophetic passages in the Old Testament talking about Jesus, hundreds of years before He came.

Hebrews 4:15 (The Personality of that Source, who is Jesus.)

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.


Matthew 7:7 (The way to access God for all our needs and blessing, including healing, the most-sought-after blessing mentioned in the most popular verse above.)

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.


These are very good verses that say God is near and accessible, and that "God is love." But that's only one facet of His personality. The other facet, "God is holy," seems to be totally missing. Maybe because we are so overwhelmed by our troubles here on earth that most of the time we focus only on God's love and mercy because those are what we need in urgency? However, if we only care about the fact that God is holy and if we live according to His guidelines for justice and holiness, we wouldn't be in the hot soup (of a wounded / sick / needy state) we are in, would we?

Maybe we need to quote more on that facet of God's character, too - like those found in Proverbs 3, for instance:

3 My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart,
2 for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you peace and prosperity.

(That's the secret of long life.)

7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord and shun evil.
8 This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones.

(Guideline for good health and well-being.)


9 Honor the Lord with your wealth,
with the firstfruits of all your crops;
10 then your barns will be filled to overflowing,
and your vats will brim over with new wine.

(Guideline for prosperity.)


These are only a few, there are many more in the Bible. Ultimately, the whole Bible gives us understanding of the situation we are in. Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33) That means we shouldn't be wondering why being in this world is so troublesome. And Jesus, having overcome the world, has gone to another world where there's no trouble. He is our example so we can follow Him there, and if we let Him, He also gives us the power to overcome this world. He encourages us to persevere - take heart - until we get there.


Maybe God uses our troubles to draw us to Himself and His decrees, so we would learn His ways and understand our situation - that our little troubles here on earth are only harbingers of the bigger trouble coming our way, if we do not take heed?


Psalm 119:71 It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.


We need to learn the decrees of God if we are to follow Jesus to the world where He is now, a world without trouble or tears.


2 Timothy 3:14, 15

14 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it,
15 and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.


Could it be that this world of troubles and tears, this place where we learn to call on God to answer our earthly needs, is actually a pre-departure area for eternity?  An eternity of a better world called Heaven, or eternity of a worse world called Hell? If we were in our mother's womb for 9 months in preparation for an earthly life of 90 years, what could the 90 years (or so) of our earthly life be preparing us for? Could it be eternity?

The above verse says the Holy Scriptures is able to make us wise for salvation - meaning, it teaches us salvation. It also says our salvation from this troublesome world and our worse trouble ahead is through faith in Christ Jesus. While we are still in this pre-departure area, wouldn't it be wise for us to know who is this Jesus Christ and what is His way of salvation, so we would indeed be delivered from the bigger trouble coming our way - Hell itself??

An Alarming Discovery

Dated July 31, 2013


I was going to quote a verse from the Bible and usually I would just cut and paste it from the online Bible site Biblegateway.com. However, I noticed that since a few months ago, Biblegateway.com had phased out my favorite translation: NIV 1984. Last time they had both "NIV 1984" and "NIV", the latter presumably being the NIV 2011. Now they have only NIV 2011 available and they label it only as "NIV" (no year), which means that for people who are not aware that they have made a new 2011 translation, they will presume this is one and the same NIV of 1984 (and they hope to pass it off as such for all time?).

What's alarming about this is that the verse I was looking up was Malachi 4:6

"He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse." (NIV 1984)

Biblegateway NIV has this:

6 He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children,and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike the land with total destruction.” (NIV 2011)

Now I know this verse by heart, so, I know this is an inaccurate and misleading translation of that verse because the intent of Malachi is really for the fathers, as mothers' hearts are always devoted to their children.

So, I looked up other online Bibles that offer various translations, hoping I can still find the NIV 1984 online. I couldn't find any!? Is it just my search engine? It seems we now have only Biblegateway.com and they have monopolized the online Bible??? I seem to have found one or two more but they seem to be related to Biblegateway.com as well and they don't have the NIV 1984 either.

When I searched further, I found this:

http://zusings.com/2013/01/22/the-death-of-the-niv-1984-bible-1984-2012/


Main point of above article:


"The King James Version’s OT (Old Testament) was written with certain available Masorectic Texts. When the Dead Sea Scrolls were found they became factors in subsequent translations such as the Revised Standard Version and New Living Translations. In short I understand why we can justify new translations when new manuscripts are found and the English language changes. But we haven’t experienced a significant linguistic shift since 1984 and I haven’t heard any news about concrete critical archaeological manuscript findings. And I’d like Bible scholars out there to comment on revelatory and meaningful recent discoveries in hermeneutics and exegetical approaches that merited application to the NIV1984...


The resulting NIV 2011, among other things, has obvious questionable gender pronoun changes. The Unlocking Femininity Blog eloquently addresses this in the old but rich post from 2011: Words Matter: Why We Can’t Recommend the NIV 2011."

I also found this: https://getsatisfaction.com/memverse/topics/niv_1984_missing_from_bible_gateway
posted March 4, 2013

And this: http://bltnotjustasandwich.com/2013/04/05/biblica-kills-online-tniv-and-niv-1984/
posted April 5, 2013

There is no doubt that the King James Version will remain our only reliable version because some Bible scholars had a lower opinion of the NIV 1973, 1978, 1984 anyway, but we all know that the KJV is more difficult to relate with, not to mention understand, especially for new believers or people who are just starting to read the Bible.


Meanwhile, I think we should avail of the NIV1984 Close Out Sale here:http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/cms_content?page=2676035&sp=114187

They are phasing it out!!!

With Obama pushing the gay agenda and this underhanded and seemingly un-publicized move by Zondervan, the once-thought-of-reliable Bible publisher, I believe something big is going on behind our backs.

This note is mainly for Christians.

God bless to all.

My Daughter Just Left

Dated June 17, 2013 Monday, 10:29am NY time

My daughter just left for her Summer Project.

The printer won't print her boarding pass and other items she wanted to print. The weighing scale was spoiled or had ran out of battery, so we couldn't weigh her check-in bag. However, by feel I knew it was way over 20kg. She couldn't figure out why her bag would weigh so much when it's just clothes and a few toiletries. I thought her toiletries must have had a lot of liquid which made it weigh so much.

Thank God, the drive was ok, no problems there and there was only a little traffic jam part of the way to the airport. We left the house at past 6am when we were supposed to have left at 5am.

I was so nervous when we left I was wondering why the people I met going in (I just dropped her first then I went to the carpark to park) to the check-in area were looking at me with a funny look. When I found her she told me the bag weighed 30kg.  She said she had to re-pack so I went back to the car to get the plastic bags I had carried for those items she may have to leave behind. Thank God there were not many people, I was expecting more crowd, and having to park really far away. It was a short walk to the car park. On the way there I noticed my blouse was inside-out!!! I went inside the car, took it off and put in on the right way. Phew, Thank God, no one in sight. :(( Then when I got out of the car I left behind my glasses in the car seat.  I didn't realize it until I was back at the check-in area to join her again.

 We tried re-arranging her things between the check-in bag and carry-on bag. It was still heavy. We finally figured it's the metal in her bag (the built-in trolley in it) which was making it too heavy. After much deliberation, she realized the best option was to leave that bag behind with me and just carry whatever she could into her carry-on bag, check that in and use a smaller cloth bag (she brought one, thank God!) as a carry-on bag. That worked. Only 16kg. Her limit was 20kg. She only had an hour left so I pushed her to check in, go into security check and go on to board her plane. I was so nervous she would be late for her flight that I dropped my camera when I was about to take a photo of her checking in!! Now the camera is spoiled. It will need to be repaired or thrown away. :(((

We hugged and she went in. I noticed there was a queue at security so I went to her and we prayed at the queue before she left. I was so nervous we even forgot to pray. It was a good thing we were still able to when she was at the queue for security check.

She will be gone for 6 weeks, that's why we already celebrated her b-day and my younger son's graduation 4 days before this, on the night my older son was leaving for his Asian vacation. It was a rare moment having all my children together.

June 22, 2013 Saturday 11:16am NY time

I'm glad that's over. But phew, now I have to get a new camera, just two days before my younger son's graduation.

Now i realize that was probably my older daughter's defining moment, that's why I was so nervous? I remember how I was so stressed when I helped my older son beat the deadline for mailing his college applications in 2006. Their dad was also away, as usual, and my son was at the end of his tether. He said he didn't want to do the Teacher's Recommendation part because he wasn't close to any of his teachers, especially his classroom teacher and he doubted she would do it for him.  He had been doing all the preparations all along - filling up the forms, writing his essay, putting all the other docs needed together. This was the hump he couldn't seem to get through. So, I stepped in. I went to see his teacher who turned out to be really helpful. We somehow lost his last report card so she had his records photocopied and notarized by the school. She made me write the recommendation and she only signed it! Finally, I had to put everything in envelopes and I would have to meet up with her in front of the school on a Saturday morning (no school) so she could sign all those application envelopes from the outside, as per requirement. Then I posted them. After I posted them I was driving out of the car park when I hit the column right behind me! I had parked in that place hundreds of times and I had reversed around that column all the time. But I was so stressed I hit it. :( Thank God at least it wasn't a car, I didn't have to answer to anyone.

Then this thing happens - I drop my camera. I may have dropped cameras before, on grass, or on pavement with its cover on. But this time, I had just taken it out of its case when I dropped it right flat on the concrete airport floor. Of course, it wasn't working anymore when I turned it on. I was that nervous, and stressed. Well, my daughter will probably find the vocation of her life on this trip. Just as my older son's future was sealed when those college applications were mailed? Defining moments, I believe.

Spring 2013

May 4, 2013 11:00am, Bayside

I am such a sucker for Spring. I promised myself I won't waste gigabytes on my camera or computer, or even shutter time, for silly photos of flowers in Spring this year. I thought, "They are just the same every year, why bother?" But ekk, I still did it. Well, here goes...

And now, here are the telling ones:

Spring 2012 and Spring 2013 photos of the same spot. There were four trees along that foot path but three were lost to Hurricane Sandy last year. Only the middle of the three trees on the left photo is shown on the right photo - the lone surviving tree, a trail-mark left behind by Hurricane Sandy.

A photo of that row of "trees" right after Hurricane Sandy in Autumn last year (2012).

Red Roses from God

Dated April 22, 2013 Monday 9:43 am

I asked for a dozen red roses with a card signed "Jesus" for Valentine's Day this year. I was smiling to myself about how God would answer that. I thought this is going to be interesting.

Then on Feb. 13, 2013 my special needs daughter decided she's not going to school anymore. She wouldn't go through the school gate, after we walked one block from where we parked. I waited. I thought it was just for the day, for a few days. But after one week I knew I had to inform District 75. I decided to inquire about home schooling. 

Looking back, it's been a solid 12 months of volunteer work with the senior lady I have been visiting. I started seeing her on the 14th Feb., 2012. This year I thought I would spend my Valentine's again with her, and her caregiver who came in some time in this past year - a cheerful girl coming from the country of Guyana. I bought her a card and dark chocolate on the night of Feb. 13. I was debating whether to buy roses, too. It was a good thing I didn't, because it wasn't meant to be. The next morning my daughter said she didn't want to go to school. This time she followed my instructions the day before, "Next time, if you don't want to go to school, tell me when you wake up in the morning, not when we're already here in front of your school and I have already paid for parking!" So, this time I spent Valentine's at home with my daughter. 

I had sometimes thought about what's going on in my daughter's school. Sometimes she didn't want to go to school. In the last week or two she was there there were times when it was a struggle when we arrived at school or her classroom. She didn't want to go in. She has no words to explain. She wouldn't tell me or she just doesn't know how to explain. She used to love school, in a way. She looked forward to working with Ms. A, her favorite "teacher." (Her Speech Therapist.) And sometimes when I go to my senior friend's place I would say to myself, "What the heck, I can't work because of my daughter's condition. I can't work because nobody can care for her if she's feeling poorly and has to stay home. So, meanwhile, we struggle to keep her in school and then I spend my free time with this senior lady. She's a gorgeous person and I love doing this, but I feel there is something amiss here. I should just really be keeping my daughter home, teaching her myself, and spending my time caring for my own." For some time I had been comforting myself with the thought that when she turns fully 18 ( the official school-leaving age for special needs children here) I can take her out of school officially and then we can start home schooling so I can train her to care for herself. For as long as she's in school all we do every day is rush in and out of bed. 

When Blizzard Nemo came (Fe. 8, 2013) and left, I was trudging through the piled up snow from the paid parking together with my daughter and we had to wade through snow and freezing water in some places. I thought, "Father God, You know the things we go through just to comply with whatever You bring into our way in this life. I pray for Your grace and I believe You have a purpose for all these.  I peacefully put up with this and I pray that You would grant us continued mercy and grace to cope with all these." One time I even had to shovel snow just to get a parking space near my daughter's school. A young guy also looking for parking saw me and suggested shoveling it for me and asked if he could use my shovel to clear space for his car, too. I said, "Sure." But in those times I was really thinking, just sending my kid to school is so tough here. Well, I don't even let my family or most of my friends know that I have opted off from the bus system for my daughter. They will never understand why I did that because that is another story of its own. So, when we finally started home schooling I looked back and realized God did answer my cry for mercy and grace - He delivered us from the grind called school. There were a few more days when it snowed, even as late as a few days before Spring season, and I would say to myself, "Thank God, I don't have to drive through this snow."

When I decided to opt out from the bus system at the beginning of this school year (Sept. 2012) I prayed that God would answer my prayer for a school transfer for my daughter, to one nearer our home. Then maybe she can take the school bus at that school. She's been there before, when she was being initially evaluated for school services she would need; the teachers and the environment in that school were so different. They were more efficient. I also told God that if she can't be transferred then I pray that it wouldn't snow this year, just like last year, or if it would, I pray that somehow I would never have to drive through snowfall. After snow has fallen and the roads have been cleared up, driving is not so bad. It's when the snow is still falling and the roads are still not cleared that it's dangerous to drive, due to low visibility and the slippery road. I actually never knew how dangerous snow is until we came to live here.  Then looking back now, the times when there were snowfall, my daughter was home for some other reason/s or it fell on weekends, or in the case of the last few times, she was already being home schooled. The slot in that school I asked for never opened for my daughter but God did answer my prayer for  not having to drive through snowfall, ever. He saved me each and every time. 

So I guess the dozen red roses means the solid twelve months of volunteer service  God enabled me to render. My daughter seemed to have settled down a bit in those twelve months. Prior to that I was just ferreting her from one doctor or government office for a problem, evaluation  or whatever. Alas, those days of being "settled" in a school were not to last. And now, I'm fully "grounded" again. Well, all the while I have always wanted to home school my daughter but my husband was never convinced it's good for us. Actually, with all the resources available here in the US, I think this is the best place to home school, although there is no financial support from the government for that. So, twelve red roses?  I believe God answered that prayer in His own way and His own terms. I'm sure the blessing of my one solid year of volunteer work will prove to be of much more value than how it looks now.Some day, I'll know.