Mood: Grumbling :(
Just came back from another doctor's appointment for my daughter. So far the blood tests done on her have been negative. Now the doctor continues on his witch hunt. He's thinking William's Syndrome this time. That means more blood tests, more pain for my younger daughter. The govt also wants more tests done on her mental ability. Now we need to see an Educational Psychiatrist to do a Psychometry test on her because the one done in 2005 in Malaysia is not acceptable anymore. They want a current test result. That test done in Malaysia cost us a bomb. This one will cost us another. And the doctor just kept on saying it's good we have this subsidy from the govt because it isn't much but at least it's something, as if trying to comfort me with the thought. His fees alone cost us a fortune as well. To be honest, whom are we trying to help or please? Do all these programs really help the child? It wouldn't change her condition a bit even if after doing all the tests in the world we can actually label "that condition", i.e. syndrome. Do we really get to help the child or just apease our conscience? And whose conscience? All I know is that it's bad enough that I am responsible for the care of this child, but worse still that I can't get off a machine I never wanted to take a ride on from the very beginning.
All I know is that this is all so worldly, so much "striving in the flesh," and a "chasing after the wind." Once upon a time, I heard my daughter say, "I used all my brain in Heaven." When you have seen a glimpse of the other side you know our efforts in the flesh are futile. And how do we reconcile the two worlds? Will I see the glory of God in the land of the living?